not yet a woman

sooo it is a birthday post again.......the sixth birthday post on this blog.
yap readers, this blog archives my moments for the last 6 years. this blog is my treasure.
however, i dont think i have the quality of a 20 years old girl. no matter how often i remind myself to grow up. i'm just me, i'm just impulsive and fickle and constantly need my loved ones to hold me. i have the quality of a gemini. i have these 2 personalities that sometimes i think logically but the other time all i want is to follow my heart. sometimes i know what i did is stupid but i still did it anyway, clumsy. sometimes i dont care what people say but the other times what they say could make me sleepless for days. that's just me. but somehow now i see people around me getting sick of me being me. the push to be mature is bigger than ever. for the sake of love, i guess? yap it's time to say goodbye to adolescence. now i'm confused, but that's why i am 20. i have a year to be confused about, before 21 22 23 and on. i even confuse if i should call myself a girl or.... a woman?

whatsoever, at first i thought i wont be too excited about the upcoming birthday. but turns out....it was the best birthday celebration ever (i always say that in every of my birthday). well, even if i'm 20 or 40. i would still love birthday surprise :) take a look!

And guess who decorate my room? with all the balloons and colored papers? my boyfriend it is :) you know, i have been through birthdays with a few different men in my life. but this time, he put all the effort to even stick the balloons on the ceiling of my room, he gathers all my friends, he brings his friends. the best present for me is his effort. knowing someone would wake up at 6 am, cutting all these papers, blowing all the balloons. i mean, not every man wants to do that. oh dear, thank you for making me special. thank you to my best friends, i'd never know i deserve this much happiness. i know my life has always been an unpredictable ride, but i really wish you all stay in my life forever and ever. at the end of the day, what makes me even happier is the fact that all my friends are also in love with my boyfriend! they all appreciate what he did. it's a big responsibility for me to keep him though. but i know, he's the right one.

I'll keep this post as a birthday post, anyway. Let's talk about my boyfriend on the next post. I'm ready for it :)

ps: thanks to Prita who comes all the way from Jakarta for me, you really surprised me, you know what i mean :) xoxo love you