the future is now

so here i am writing with a box of pizza and a glass of chocolate milk. my life these past few months have been a struggling battle. graduating from high school is a wake up call for me. that this is it, my future standing so close to me. that future called university. probably for some people, including my mom, public university is way more prestigious than private university. for me, it's not about how cool it would feel to get into popular university, but to prove that 'hey! i ain't just that spoiled little brad with no brain!" being underestimated is just not my thing.
dreams, i'm always full of dream. as so many teenage girls have always been dreaming, i always imagine live far from my parents. living free, tasting the luxury of being an adult. i always feel overwhelmed everytime i think of it. where you can decide whether you want to make your bed or not, waking up early or late, or even eating noodle in the middle of the night. and every little consequence will be on your hand. you're going to broke down and regret things but then you move on not doing the same mistake. that's how challenging to be a free human being.
about me as the only child, dad once said "someday when i and your mom have gone, you will have to living on your own." and that sentence hit me hard. i mean i got not sibling to watch over me when i'm sick or even lend me money when i'm broke. i do have cousins, but things wouldnt be the same i guess.

moreover, i believe that god give us an option of which faith we would want to take. so after all the hard works and tears of depression, i get this :

this was beyond amazing. i was very upset after failed on my SNMPTN test. at that moment, hoping was a dangerous thing to do. but i have my faith on god, i pray and i beg to be given the chance to make my parents proud, to be given the chance to study in the major that i really keen on, and there i go! i get into English Literature on University of Padjajaran Bandung. it's always been my passion to wrote a bestselling novel or became a VOA correspondent.

i believe in the power of god, because i experienced it myself, how god is so kind to me, he listen to my non-stop prayer. and for some other people, maybe god answering your call with a different way. but this is the way it is given to me, magnificent!

so i got my dream on the track and i got what i have been hoping for since i grew up. not in an easy way, i sacrificed a lot of pain. and now i got so anxious yet so overwhelmed, I'M GOING TO LIVE ON MY OWN, OUT OF TOWN, FREE! it drives me crazy, one side i feel scare about not being able to cope the situation but the other side i know that this is a maturity process. i'll make myself  get used with Loneliness, so it couldn't beat me anytime in the future. i'm ready for the tears and desperation i'm going to face in the future.

i'm so ready, world!

cherish life to the fullest

hey readers, i'm officially 18! i feel old....i started this blog when i was about 14. and all the journey.....i'll never stop asking for more in live. i'll live for more and more adventures. well, but most of all, i want to living my live as a respected person, a person that live with her own decision, free and happy. i'll be contented. amin!

anyway, my birthday was on 17th June. almost a month ago! haha! sorry for the late post, i have a lot of things going on in my life right now. that day i didn't get surprise from my friends, i went out to dinner with my pals at Lucy in The Sky Sudirman (the photos still on my friend's camera until now!) and also with my boyfriend. he's so cute giving me a birthday cake and perfume as the gift. well i can't deny that i was expecting more from my girls. but that day ended up pretty well.

the next day i was going out with my boyfriend when suddenly the car was stopped and here i saw my friends on the street looking awkward. and.............they kidnapped me! i was tied up with duck tape all over my hands, feet, and even my face!!!!! damn. and then they put me on the back of the car with my eyes closed. apparently they brought me to one of my friend's house who was having a birthday too. after also kidnapping her, they dropped us to a garden near the house. and then they spilled eggs, flour, and coffee all over our body. it was disgusting and smelly. but thank god i could untied the tape and help my other friend. 

it was a blast! haha! after taking shower, i got a gift from my girls. then me and my birthday friend, treat them all for dinner. it was a night full of laugh and happiness. thanks everyone especially my 'UG girls' i feel loved! <3 <3 yay