My good isnt good enough

You were the right man i've been waiting so long
You were the funniest
You knew how to treat me right
A lil bit careless
That's what upset me all the time
I was afraid behind the shadow of ur ex whom u seemed to loved so much
I was insecure and accusing you
I was cranky and selfishly wanted you to do things as i wanted it to be
You always held your anger towards me
You were trying to save what we had
But i was drowning in my own notion
I was always thinking that u never loved me at the first place
So when all of sudden you gave up on me
I knew that i have to face my biggest fear, again
Losing people that i love because they couldnt stand me
But with you, it was more painful
Because i had been so proud about this relationship
All my friends get along with you
And they keep saying that i gotta take a grip on you
Shame on me
My heart was filled with such guilty
The blame is on me, all alone
How could i be so stupid and let you slipped away
The pain is unbearable
I attempted to meet you and i did asking for second chance
You said i've had enough of chances you had given this past one month
I was too late
You said you couldnt stand the emotional and irrational me
You said i've done this to my latest ex, you said i barely could change
Well i gotta tell you
You're the only person who bring out the best in me
And if ever i changed into a better person, the reason is you
The pain in my chest is excruciating
I decided not to face the tears
Delete your photos
Not even for once i ever opened anything about you
I stop stalking you, at all
The history of our chat remain untouched and unseen
I was too afraid to delete it
But no matter what, you're linger on me nda
I miss you so much
There were nights when i got this urge to call you
To tell you that i will always wanted you back
But i realized i couldnt bare your sarcastic voice towards me
You distant yourself from me and treat me like you're allergic to me
I feel so small
Dont i deserve to be missed?
Is there really nothing you could possibly miss about me?
Because i know you're all okay without me
You live your life very well, act like i never exist in your life
And it kinda prove that you never loved me that much
I'm currently runaway and i didnt willing to stop running
I skip the sad songs
This way i feel better, the wound is left opened
It will heal itself though
God is aparently helping me a lot
He has been sending me friends and more adventures lately
I try so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But this part of me still waiting for you to miss me