We Speak Different Kind of Language

I never think that love is easy. However, I also never think that speaking a different language of love would cost a lot. We can never have the same perception and perspective about how to show our love. One can say the love that they give is enough, contrary to other one who can severely feel that the way we love is not true enough. We never have a barometer or standardize of loving someone. We just can predict and guess how much someone love us or how much love we have, but we'd never know precisely, or if maybe they just fake it. That's why we can only count on the way they show their affection to us. It's the only way to measure love, isn't it?

They said love is a universal language. Well, it's not. If everyone have the same way of loving, there will be no war and hatred. Matter fact, Love can be unfair. We could've given everything to show someone our affection. Giving every ounce of our attention, just basically willing to do anything, to make sure they know they are loved. But on the other side, there would be those who just say a single "I love you" to show their love and they think it's enough. I know, love means no selfishness and always compromise. But isn't love also mean being vulnerable? doesn't love also mean giving the best version of yourself? Doesn't it mean making our significant one happy and content as we are? So if we speak different kind of language, should we just accept the lower standard of how to show our love? or should we go on and never ask anything in return?

My problem is that I always expect people to do the same like what I'd do for them. Expect them do the speaking the same language as I do. I'll always be that person who catch everyone when they fell, who keep asking, chasing, running, picking up the pieces. Being the one who try to not being mad too long, just for the sake of spending time together. Being the one who turn my back after being ignored, being the one who knock the door first, being the one who call and text first after every fight. Being the one who instead of avoiding the problem, facing it no matter how tiring it is, just for the sake of not losing any more minute apart. Being the one who make sure my loved ones not feeling bad, being the one who cares much about little details. Who want to experience everything together with you, who excitedly shares all nonsense in my life. Unfortunately, that's how I crazily love. How I speak my language. I can come off clingy, but I always do everything I do because the great love I have.

I'm trying to make my self understand the way people love differently, but I cant help but wonder, what if this is not about language, what if it is just they have so little love to show? It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I don't trust their own judgement for themselves.

So when someone say how much they love you, make sure, you're not measuring it through your way of loving. it will only give you much disappointment. I learned it, the hard way tho. And I guess for me, I still have a lifetime to learn different languages of love, so I can use their barometer and be secured. Till then, it's save to say, I better always set myself ready for upcoming disappointments and heartbreaks.

After all, love always costs you something.