this life

been the 3rd week here in Jatinangor, Sumedang, West Java. i am completely all by myself since i have broken up a month ago. but my conscience told me "you're living it nadira! your dream!" well, that makes everything a lot easier. sometimes i get angry with this situation but then i remind myself  "this is the process you must go through in order to live your dream"

so i just make peace with myself. accept everything as if it is supposed to be that way.

my days continue naturally. my schedule in college isn't as hectic as back then in school. i meet these three girls whom i really close to at the class, they are Kiki, Rizka, and Tya. i'm glad they are a very loyal friends, ready to hear and help me through post-breakup. my favorite class is Grammar class because my lecturer, whom was graduated from America, is so sophisticated. and what also interesting is Introduction to Prose class, because i learn (by reading) short stories from a famous authors like Ernest Hemingway. i enjoy my classes.

in my dorm, i am very happy to introduce you to my friends Vanda, Prita, Esta, and Alyani. we came from the same high school but we weren't as close as we are now. we spend SO much time together. breakfast before school, dinner, and then sleepover at night. all we do is pretty much gossiping, laughing, eating, and stalking people. much much fun! they are the reason i shouldn't grieve for too long. we have gone to Bandung several times on the weekend. but none of us actually know the direction. it was such an adventure. i always find myself drowning in laugh everytime i'm with them.

nonetheless, there is time when i found myself alone in my room. no one looking for me. i accustom myself to clean the room, to push away those feelings. i actually feel responsible to make my room comfortable. i wash the dishes and do the laundry by myself. my relationship with mom and dad is splendid, more than we ever had before. they've visited me twice this month. and we have a good time :)
well, i've changed a lot. i always having a tough time being single. but now, i have to face it, in the situation where i mostly need someone to lean on. that's an irony god want me to cope :) i know the happy ending is there, either near or far. i'll keep holding on :)

for you, though i know there isn't a chance for you to read this, the pain you caused has taught me not to trust anyone but myself. i was stupid, really stupid, but you're not a mistake. the blame is on me. we are unfinished for me. but who says that we must finish reading one novel, before opening the new one? i'm closing your bullshit.