heartbroken

It has been a stressful time, i have to admit. thinking about my health had been the last priority. until finally i got knocked down by this disease. i was hospitalized for 4 days. giving my body a rest from outside world is off course needed, but for my mind being in the same room for days laying in the bed is a tragedy. i almost losing my mind, i'm telling you i aint kidding. actually the symptoms of my illness have been shown since couple weeks ago. i experienced fever, nausea, and vomiting. the doctor said that i suffered typhus and had a low platelet. hence, i took the medicine at home and for a few days i felt better. but the nausea still didnt stop and so mom decided i should take a blood test to make sure. i went to another doctor and the result said that my liver is infected with virus. wow! suddenly it become severe. turns out the nausea feeling comes from my infected liver not from typhus or my stomach. i was feeling upset because i've got a lot to do at college, but instead i have to stay at the hospital. they gave me infusion in the back of my left hand and i had to stick with it, it hurts me everytime i moved my hand too much. they took my blood once a day. i came to that point where injection doesnt hurt me anymore because i've had too many! i also have diet to keep away my heart from working too hard. i dont allowed to eat fried foods, sour and spicy foods, and everything else should be low fat.

i literally have my heart broken and it still in recovery. i'm now having bedrest at home, which is a little much better option than the hospital. but figuratively my heart has been broken too. haha i have a serious deal with heart. i hope, he whom has made me laugh these past few weeks, i hope he's the one who's gonna fix me physically and mentally. i miss that figure, frankly. and since everything that i expected has rolled away, i'm giving in. i believe that god doesn't give us what we want because he's planning us to end up with things we needed